Engineers

Talk Wrench

I am a bloke.

This is a fact. I know this for certain because I have just returned from taking a wizz standing up and I still have dry shoes (there is other supporting evidence too, but I’ll keep that to myself thankyouverymuch).

I also score very highly on the “engineer” spectrum.

These 2 contributory factors have served me pretty well throughout my life. If something needed fixing (and assuming it didn’t rely on the evil black magic that is electricity), I would fix it. If something didn’t need fixing I would probably take it apart to see why not and then just ‘fix it’ for the sake of it.

In short, life has equipped me well. The ability to take stuff apart (being a bloke) has been balanced with the ability to put it back together (being an engineer). Inanimate mechanical objects are my playground.

However.

When it comes to human beings (particularly those of the opposite sex), the rules change.

I know that I can’t fix every problem. I know that even if I could there is not a requirement for it in every single situation. I know that sometimes I just need to STFU and listen.

Knowing these things and actually enacting them are two very different things. Does anyone know of a good manual?

Or should I just fiddle with my toolbox less?

NDC

A Damn Good Screw

Last night I was laying in bed with The Future Mrs Adventures. We were looking at new bedroom furniture on the World Wide Wasteroftime and the subject of Ikea came up.

I love Ikea with a passion. In my dim and distant past I was trained as an engineer (which is a bit like being trained as a Shaolin Monk, but without the fancy moves or natty orange trousers), so the way in which the Swedish outfit designs its furniture to be cheap to produce and easy to assemble by Joe Public with nothing more than an allen key and a 5 minute attention span just fascinates me. IMHO Genius is not too strong a word.

I found myself telling my lovely Other Half all about how they actually manufacture non-standard screws for their equipment to save money on materials, and how because of the huge volumes that they use, it is a worthwhile engineering exercise vs buying a standard screw… .

In bed.

Ladies, please form an orderly queue.